A pair of green shoes that seemed to have a little bit of freezer burn, but would probably fry up nicely. He turned on the stove, got out a pan and began to think to himself.....
He hit the emergency eject button, conveniently he had placed an escape pod in the freezer just in case such a problem ever occurred. As he flew up high into the air threw the gapping hole he had just took out of his bunkers roof, he pressed the parachute button but....
help out as a earpeace when using the Swiss-Pocketknife as a mobile-phone (you remember the call at the firedepartment). But the most useful ability was: Due to his special shape when turning in circles like a madman, then...
the very danger situation he was now in, he remembered of the SOP's when colliding with an massive Arrakian sand worm (and having only a Swiss-Pocketknife with you instead of a rocket-launcher loaded with nuclear warheads): Don't move, don't...
Don't do any thing, don't even sneeze! Without securing yourself to the worm, less it roll over you crush you under it's thousands of ton weight.
Working his swiss army knife with 65 unique functions he found a large hook with an eye on it, burying it between two of the worms rock like plates of skin, he realized.
Hey... If I had a rope, I could drive this monster!
(This is actually how the powerful Fremen warriors travel across the sands of Dune (Arrakis), what better way to ride then to use the beast that would eat you for breakfast should you try walking it lol)
Then he remembered,,"Hey, I saw this Movie, this is a Re-Run"....
It was then he realized he was in a Altered Time Zone of Old Movie Re-Runs. If Only he could learn to control it!!
He closed his eyes real tight and thought of his Favorite Snack...
Gandalf from Lord of the Rings as he plunged into the darkness with the Bal Rock the largest and most evil monster ever known to man and as Exqualix fell...
—
If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. Anatole France [Jacques Anatole Thibault] (1844-1924)
he got out of bed that morning with a groan, made his way to his kitchen to grab breakfast , hearing the usual car horns and sirens all outside of his apartment. it wasn't the nicest place, but would do for the few months he was down here waiting for things to cool down. He sat down with his bowl of much-ums , the same cereal he had since he was 5, when he heard a forceful knock on the door and brute voice yelling ".....
the cat panic and jumped onto the counter knocking over a bowl of freshly sharpened butchers knifes, one which cut rope that happened to be holding the 50 ton weight high above the apartment floor. He was frozen with fear as the 50 ton weight, a bowl of knifes, a loaded rifle, and a loaded pistol all began to rain down on him....
rolled away from the falling sharp things that would surely kill him. He got up and dusted himself off, walked over to the door and found his father wearing nothing but his polka dot boxers, his old army helmet and a 12 gauge shotgun. His dad looked him in the face and then started to run down the hall with shotgun in hand screaming, "Damn those Mexicans, they've got the..."
the kitchen section of the bunker in search of some food.
"Hopefully the freezer still works!"
Rustling through the freezer, Ho Chi Goon Cha Bein Koin Fu Chow was hard pressed to find any thing eatable.
Until on the bottom shelf he found ....
A pair of green shoes that seemed to have a little bit of freezer burn, but would probably fry up nicely. He turned on the stove, got out a pan and began to think to himself.....
This really needs some hot sauce, but where???
"Liquid nitroglycerin", the bottle said.
Well, he thought. That should be hot enough.
He started to shake the bottle...
And it burst in his hand, sending glass ever where and flinging the hungry Ho Chi Goon Cha Bein Koin Fu Chow into the freezer from the force.
"Hey some one let me the heck out of here, it's cold!"
Never another drop of 10,000 year old nitro in the hotsauce again.... he thought to him self shivering.
Damn where is my funny looking norwegian skihat when I need it. nvm he thought. There is only one thing to do then....
He hit the emergency eject button, conveniently he had placed an escape pod in the freezer just in case such a problem ever occurred. As he flew up high into the air threw the gapping hole he had just took out of his bunkers roof, he pressed the parachute button but....
Nothing Happened!!....
Quickly he reached into his pocket for his Swiss Army Knife...Fingered thru the attatchments and...
found a spoon! This wasn't any ordinary spoon however, this spoon had the ability to
help out as a earpeace when using the Swiss-Pocketknife as a mobile-phone (you remember the call at the firedepartment). But the most useful ability was: Due to his special shape when turning in circles like a madman, then...
"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"
He landed flat on his duff on top a massive Arrakian sand worm that was about to eat a bunch of spice miners a few hundred metres to the north.
When he realized ....
the very danger situation he was now in, he remembered of the SOP's when colliding with an massive Arrakian sand worm (and having only a Swiss-Pocketknife with you instead of a rocket-launcher loaded with nuclear warheads): Don't move, don't...
"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"
Don't do any thing, don't even sneeze! Without securing yourself to the worm, less it roll over you crush you under it's thousands of ton weight.
Working his swiss army knife with 65 unique functions he found a large hook with an eye on it, burying it between two of the worms rock like plates of skin, he realized.
Hey... If I had a rope, I could drive this monster!
(This is actually how the powerful Fremen warriors travel across the sands of Dune (Arrakis), what better way to ride then to use the beast that would eat you for breakfast should you try walking it lol)
Then he remembered,,"Hey, I saw this Movie, this is a Re-Run"....
It was then he realized he was in a Altered Time Zone of Old Movie Re-Runs. If Only he could learn to control it!!
He closed his eyes real tight and thought of his Favorite Snack...
*Poof*......
A dish of Rokeg blood pie and a strong cup of Raktajino appeared...
he ate is quite questionable meal and then immidietly regretted so. Once again he closed his eyes really tight and though as hard as he could
*poof*
In front of him stood a 5 story high T-rex with the wings of a dragon and the head of a bear.
I shall name you Exqualix he said as he mounted his new steed. As they began to fly away into the sky out of nowhere...
a high-voltage flash of lightning hit Exqualix, who was fallen downwards divebombing-style like...
"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"
Gandalf from Lord of the Rings as he plunged into the darkness with the Bal Rock the largest and most evil monster ever known to man and as Exqualix fell...
If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. Anatole France [Jacques Anatole Thibault] (1844-1924)
Fade to black......
CHAPTER TWO: The Early Years
he got out of bed that morning with a groan, made his way to his kitchen to grab breakfast , hearing the usual car horns and sirens all outside of his apartment. it wasn't the nicest place, but would do for the few months he was down here waiting for things to cool down. He sat down with his bowl of much-ums , the same cereal he had since he was 5, when he heard a forceful knock on the door and brute voice yelling ".....
Son we are at war with the mexicans, grap my ammo and rise from your bed...
So he went to the refrigerator, grabbed a French pastry and fetched the M1903 Springfield rifle and a Colt Peacemaker (the classic .45cal 6-gun ;))
"War", he thought.
"But I haven't finished my tea yet".
Wars always erupt in inconvenient moments.
He looked at his plate, as he loaded his rifle and revolver.
Without hesitation, he grabbed the sweet biscuits, swallowed them with his tea, before he...
tripped over the cat, sending him butt-over-teakettle and the weapons flying up in the air as ....
the cat panic and jumped onto the counter knocking over a bowl of freshly sharpened butchers knifes, one which cut rope that happened to be holding the 50 ton weight high above the apartment floor. He was frozen with fear as the 50 ton weight, a bowl of knifes, a loaded rifle, and a loaded pistol all began to rain down on him....
while he was taking a bath.
The End
ban_from_thread(SAS_Valroe, years(20));
...he thought. Is not here for many pages yet. Just as the thought flashed his mind, he...
rolled away from the falling sharp things that would surely kill him. He got up and dusted himself off, walked over to the door and found his father wearing nothing but his polka dot boxers, his old army helmet and a 12 gauge shotgun. His dad looked him in the face and then started to run down the hall with shotgun in hand screaming, "Damn those Mexicans, they've got the..."
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