ATM Procedures (male v female)

9 posts / 0 new
Last post
SAS_Random
Veteran
Veteran
SAS_Random's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 days 17 hours ago
ATM Procedures (male v female)

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE"
procedures have been developed. Please follow the
appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14... Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26... Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

SAS_Vet_Random

Lt. Col (Retired)

22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

 

 

SAS_WIZ
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago

If it wasnt so true it would be funny ROTFL

SAS_WIZ

SAS_Walker
Trooper
Trooper
SAS_Walker's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 weeks 4 days ago

OHH yes. Point 18 is a must, whenever possible.

SAS_Walker
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

SAS_Ade
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 9 months ago

ROTFL I got a stitch from excessive laughter

[SAS]_LCpl_Ade Lance Corporal (LCpl) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.

SAS_Nick
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago

I'm so happy to be a male atm Wink

SAS_Nick
22nd SAS Elite Virtual Regiment

SAS_Ezbass
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 10 months ago

I'm so happy to be a male atm Wink

atm= At The Moment

Nick.LOL

SAS_JB
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 3 months ago
I'm so happy to be a male atm Wink

atm= At The Moment

Nick.LOL

I'm so glad you made that perfectly clear for me. I was laughing so hard just visualizing Nick as an ATM. Please swipe your card here.... yea I'm still laughing......
B: ROTFL :roll: 8O B:F

SAS_Nick
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago

That was the objective to make a play of word Wink I'm glad it gave you a blast JB Lol

SAS_Nick
22nd SAS Elite Virtual Regiment

SAS_Spawn
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago

ROFLMAO

Photobucket