ATM Procedures (male v female)

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SAS_Random
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ATM Procedures (male v female)

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE"
procedures have been developed. Please follow the
appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14... Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26... Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

SAS_Vet_Random

Lt. Col (Retired)

22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

 

 

SAS_WIZ
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If it wasnt so true it would be funny ROTFL

Lt_Col WIZ,  VC, MiD (Ret)

SAS_Walker
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OHH yes. Point 18 is a must, whenever possible.

SAS_Walker
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SAS_Ade
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ROTFL I got a stitch from excessive laughter

[SAS]_Vet_Ade Veteran (Vet) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.

SAS_Nick
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I'm so happy to be a male atm Wink

SAS_Nick
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SAS_Ezbass
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I'm so happy to be a male atm Wink

atm= At The Moment

Nick.LOL

SAS_JB
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I'm so happy to be a male atm Wink

atm= At The Moment

Nick.LOL

I'm so glad you made that perfectly clear for me. I was laughing so hard just visualizing Nick as an ATM. Please swipe your card here.... yea I'm still laughing......
B: ROTFL :roll: 8O B:F

SAS_Nick
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That was the objective to make a play of word Wink I'm glad it gave you a blast JB Lol

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SAS_Spawn
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ROFLMAO

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