HOW TO INSTALL YOUR OWN SAS HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 jump boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Splash a little watered down rusty red paint on the front porch making it look like the trail is leading away from the house.
5. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Sergeant Major,
The remainder of Sabre Squad went to the BX for more ammo and beer. We will be back in an hour for the Live Op. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the postman this morning and nicked him up a might. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of them in the bunkhouse.
Best to just wait outside until we get back."
Cpl Ezbasr
SAS_Vet_Random
Lt. Col (Retired)
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment
That is a good one right there,LOL.
lol nice one
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)
I'm guessing you talking from personal experience Random
[SAS]_Vet_Ade Veteran (Vet) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.
Hehe - Ez', didn`t know, that u are a mean one ...
ROTFL
Join the Dark side! We have cookies!
nice one
(formerly known as SAS_LCpl_Hunter)
You don''t understand. At EZ's house all that stuff is real. Except "Killer" is named "Alien"
It helps on door to door salesman also.
I have this sign on my front door. No one seems to want to call at my door....
ATTENTION: POTENTIAL GUESTS
DUE TO A LONG BATTLE WITH POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME,
I DO NOT REACT WELL TO LOUD NOISES SO PLEASE DO NOT KNOCK OR RING THE BELL.
IF I KNOW YOU ARE COMING, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR AND WALK RIGHT IN, GRAB A DRINK AND MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE!!
IF I DON'T KNOW YOU ARE COMING, I WOULD ADVISE THAT YOU JUST TURN AROUND AND LEAVE NOW BECAUSE INTRUDERS ARE SHOT ON SIGHT. AS I MENTIONED BEFORE, I'M A BIT JUMPY WHEN I'M SURPRISED.
SAS_Vet_Random
Lt. Col (Retired)
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment
BOO
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)
I like that door sign Random
Doing this in german, if you are a legal weapon owner, will bring you a swat house call very fast
(formerly known as SAS_LCpl_Hunter)
Wheres my second drink?
LOL Sir
My most effective door sign (I worked 12hr night shifts 5 days a week in critical care units) was one that read simply:
NO SMOKING! OXYGEN IN USE.
I never had anyone knock despite there being no sign saying not to.
My most fun was the day one of CA's anti-gun Senators came to campaign and knocked on my door. I answered in T shirt, jeans and with a 6" magnum stuck in my belt. She did not bother to wait to ask for my vote. I just cannot understand why.
It worked almost as well on salesmen and Jehovah's Witnesses. (Are they witnesses for the prosecution or the defense?)
Hahaha Cougar