You get winded from knocking on doors.
You need another kid to chew the candy to soften it up for you.
You ask for high-fibre candy.
You lose your balance when someone drops a full-sized candy bar in your bag.
People compliment your Boris Karloff mask, but you aren't wearing one.
When the doors open you yell, "Trick or..." but can't remember the rest.
At the end of the night you open your bag and it's filled with restraining orders.
When choosing a costume you need to find one that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
You have to take out your dentures to make room in your mouth for your fake vampire teeth.
You are the only Power Ranger who needs a walker.
You need to take frequent breaks to go pee.
Lt. Col (Retired)
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment