My favourites are #3 and #1.
TOP 6 SMARTASS ANSWERS:
SMARTASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
SMARTASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
SMARTASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMARTASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMARTASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
AND TOP SMARTASS ANSWER OF 2006 WAS......
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand
As it went down, it got less and less witty, sorry to say.
However, the first ones were pretty gnar.
haha 3 & 4 were my personal favorite haha. and the first one ive seen the version thats its in a high school class and the student ask
What if my right arm hurts from masturbating all night?
Then you better learn to use your left
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free
Maybe its just my sick mind but I giggled through that
Don't take it hard spidey you're not the only person here with a sick mind
\"Virtue is its own reward.\"
giggled? i laughed out loud as i went down the list.
"Game over man." Pvt. Hudson. SAS 22nd E.V.R.
I thought #1 and #5 were hilarious.