A (new and not reposted) joke...

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
Merge
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 9 months ago
A (new and not reposted) joke...

Here you go lads,

I think you Brits especially will get a kick out of this.

These are all excerpts taken from Fitness Reports on the Royal Marines and Navy. They are a riot, and I think you'll find them quite humorous.

Enjoy!! My personal favorites are the ones about "rock bottom" and the "village idiot". I may have to use them on the next performance evaluation I give one of the young MERGE hopefuls...

EDIT: Here you go, my god I must be losing it...

Fitness Reps

The British Military writes EPRs which are officer fitness reports. The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206s"....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope

- Always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

IMAGE(http://miniprofile.xfire.com/bg/co/type/0/sjmerge.png)

Smoothies
Offline
Last seen: 12 years 1 week ago

???

IMAGE(http://card.mygamercard.net/gbar/Confused+Gunman.gif)

Never trust a hermit with your cookie.

Spidey01
Offline
Last seen: 3 months 5 days ago

You fogot the link me think, I say we call the state patrol ^_^

SAS_WIZ
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 5 months 3 weeks ago

very humourous :laugh:

the one about flying below 250ft seems more of a genuine comment than a wise crack though. 250ft is the standard low flying height for military pilots here, quite impressive when your out in the mountains and a Tornado GR7 passes below you.

SAS_WIZ

SAS_Webmaster
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 3 months ago

The joke might be that taking off requires you to fly below 250 ft.

SAS_Adze
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 11 months ago

Very good.

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy." has to be my favourite.

Spidey01
Offline
Last seen: 3 months 5 days ago

"He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. "

Hehehehehe.

I wonder how it is in real life, I always have loved to go at maximum thrust @ about 50feet off the deck in flight simulators. Scare the crap out of the tripple-A crews Smile

SAS_Jakub
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 8 years 7 months ago

hahaha nice one, go your Brits!

Sgt Jakub

Train Hard - Fight Easy