How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

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Lodige
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How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you:

1. Kneading on you:
You may think this is a sign of affection,but your cat is actually checking
your internal organs for weaknesses.

2. Hiding in dark places and watching you:
Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.

3. Excessive shoveling of kitty litter:
After using the litter box your cat needlessly kicks litter around,most of it
ending up all over the room?--This is practice for burying bodies.

4. Sleeping on your electronics:
Humans have superior technology.Your cat knows this and will attempt to
disrupt all communications to the outside world.

5. Starting contests:
If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat,do not look away.
Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak,and an attack
is likely to follow.

6. Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter?
When your cat does this,its actually a failed ambush.

Smile

SAS_WIZ
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LOL

And lying across the top of the stairs in the dark

SAS_WIZ

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Batting around a really thin piece of string... honing it's precision strikes.

Kevlar! Dang! She was ready to go to war... Grambo aint no joke!

SAS_Ade
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my cat was checking for weakness in my internal organs :O

i must pretend to pat my cat and look for weaknesses in her internal organs.

[SAS]_LCpl_Ade Lance Corporal (LCpl) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.

SAS_Random
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I learned how to set proxy mines by watching where my cat decided to sleep in the house. I always seemed to step on him without seeing him.

He used to sleep on the top step on the stairs, until I stepped on him, then he decided to sleep on the 2nd step. He got me both times.

Now I turn on the hall light before attempting stairs.

Also, have you ever woke up to discover your cat crouched on your chest staring back at you? I wonder what the hell he's up to.

SAS_Vet_Random

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22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

 

 

SAS_Yogi
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My cat used to sleep on my neck. Luckily I always woke up with my throat intact.

SAS_Malty
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Dogs don't even need to plot. . .

(Just another reason why they are better than cats.)IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/nfwkH.gif)

SAS_West
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...and this is why I'm not a cat person!

[SAS] VET WEST
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22nd [SAS] E.V.R. - Who Dares Wins

SAS_WIZ
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...and this is why I'm not a cat person!

If you were, you might be married to Halle Berry lol

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SAS_Yogi
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Oh baby

SAS_Magnum
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Interesting topic, actually. If that's true, than my cat is planning something very big. My cat does undercover very well Biggrin

SAS_Magnum Lance Corporal SAS 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.

SAS_Ezbass
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Buck likes cats, I hate havin to haulem off afterwards. Twisted

SAS_WIZ
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