How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you:
1. Kneading on you:
You may think this is a sign of affection,but your cat is actually checking
your internal organs for weaknesses.
2. Hiding in dark places and watching you:
Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.
3. Excessive shoveling of kitty litter:
After using the litter box your cat needlessly kicks litter around,most of it
ending up all over the room?--This is practice for burying bodies.
4. Sleeping on your electronics:
Humans have superior technology.Your cat knows this and will attempt to
disrupt all communications to the outside world.
5. Starting contests:
If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat,do not look away.
Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak,and an attack
is likely to follow.
6. Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter?
When your cat does this,its actually a failed ambush.