An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
SAS_Vet_Random
Lt. Col (Retired)
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment
oooof.
Here's another one I found about how your son's opinion of you changes over time.
4yrs my Dad can do anything
7yrs my Dad knows everything
8yrs my Dad knows almost everything
12yrs my Dad doesn't know as much as he thinks
14yrs my Dad is old-fashioned
21yrs my Dad is out of touch
25yrs my Dad knows a little bit about things I guess...but not much
30yrs I need to know what my Dad thinks about it
35yrs before we decide, let's ask Dad
50yrs what would Dad have done?
60yrs my Dad knew everything!
65yrs I wish I could still talk things over with Dad
If you have sons in that 8-25 range (as I do), hang in there because they will snap out of it
SAS_Vet_Random
Lt. Col (Retired)
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment
I knew enough not to have kids
My opinion is the only one that counts.
My boys just call me an old fart, then go on,lol.
Short letter from a blond mother to her blond daughter:
Hello dear daughter!
If you get this letter, he is probably also arrived. If not, please let me know and I'll write again.
I write slowly because I know that you can not read very fast. Because of the mantle which you wanted, your uncle Peter said if I send the metal buttons to this it is too expensive because of the weight, so I removed them. You can sew the buttons back on, because I have done in the right pocket. Your father has a new job. Under him are 500 men! He mows the grass at the cemetery.
Your sister Lisa got married and is expecting a baby. We do not know what sex, so I can not tell you yet whether you will uncle or aunt. I wanted to attach 20$, but the letter was already closed...
SAS_Walker
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment
Blondes B:
SAS_Vet_Random
Lt. Col (Retired)
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment