Im going to start this off for a bit of fun...
Ill suggest a topic and lets see who comes up with the funniest quotes. The first topic is "Bad things to hear when.... Sending troops to war"
"Hello, im George Bush"
"Have you injured yourself at work, recently?"
"The emergency exits are here, here and here"
"Did you pack your bergen yourself? Im sorry sir, firearms are not permitted with this airline"
Over to you.....
—
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)
"Dick Cheney confiscated US army firearms to use for hunting practice"
"Your being deployed in the uruzgan province"
"Last boarding call for Al Kyder and Terry Wrist"
"I'm sorry but your bergen is in Indonesia"
Over to you...
[SAS]_Vet_Ade Veteran (Vet) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.
"welcome to lost luggage"
"Please welcome our new lucky mascot Tilikum the whale"
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)
"Is that your parachute, or your wife's handbag with a hole in it?"
No, Mr Al-Kamir, this is not an airliner you are hijacking. It is a troop transport, for 22nd SAS Rgt, heading for a combat drop in Afghanistan.
aka Slack911, yamaraion, M827_CSM_COUGAR,Cougar]
"Right lads, i thought we could do with a new desert uniform, here are your pink leotards and ballet pumps"
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)
Well, Howdy there boys, My name is Mister Rogers, Can you spell H a p p y , My my dont we got some big boys with us today. We will be takin a nature walk in the moutains of Iran.
Pink wouldn't be so bad in the desert, but in woods or snow or city it could be lethal. On the other hand, the bad guys might be laughing so hard they couldn't hit us.
aka Slack911, yamaraion, M827_CSM_COUGAR,Cougar]
The bad news are: There will be a superiority of hostile contacts and all supply-packs are lost. Backup Squadrons Bravo and Delta are down. 2 Blackhawks and 1 Apache are shot down. Landingzone is hot. The enemy awaits our arrival. The good news: Well, you are still alive...
DUKE, Germany
"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"
As Clint might say to the alqaders, This is a 44 mag capable of punchin a hole in ya a car could drive thru, You have to ask yaself, Do you feel lucky punk or are ya to dippy to run.
New one.......
Bad things to hear when.....entering into the olympics.
Ill start.....
Im sorry Sir, there is no egg and spoon race this year.
The bell, the bell, somebodys stolen the bell!!!
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)
We are sorry for this minor inconvience, but the down hill races will be held on the target range, Ski FAST Boys.
"I'm sorry to say all Olympic events have been canceled until further notice due to a large percentage of athletes going on strike, cause they didn't get their in-flight happy meal."
"All athletes have tested positive to three types of anabolic steroids and a high grade beaver tranquilizer."
[SAS]_Vet_Ade Veteran (Vet) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.
All Athletes please report to the admin centre, where we will be confiscating your shoe laces
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)
Edit: nvm had my mind in the gutter
We're sorry, but due to the global warming there is no snow this year... :oops: :oops: Why don't you all take a long rest and prepare for the summer-olympics
DUKE, Germany
"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"
We are proud to announce, that this year we have replaced the discuss throw with throwing automobiles
There will also be some chicken chasin in this years line up, we really expect people to flock to this event,
Phillip Morris and THE WAR on DRUGS!!!( Tobacco Tax)
Now there is a oxymoron...
You won't here that on CNN...
Optimistic with applied sense of humor...