Im going to start this off for a bit of fun...
Ill suggest a topic and lets see who comes up with the funniest quotes. The first topic is "Bad things to hear when.... Sending troops to war"
"Hello, im George Bush"
"Have you injured yourself at work, recently?"
"The emergency exits are here, here and here"
"Did you pack your bergen yourself? Im sorry sir, firearms are not permitted with this airline"
Over to you.....
Lt_Col WIZ, VC, MiD (Ret)