Chuck Norris jokes are really popular now. Here's a few.

23 posts / 0 new
Last post
RJ
Offline
Last seen: 12 years 5 months ago
Chuck Norris jokes are really popular now. Here's a few.

Here's a few good jokes I've seen/heard. Enjoy!

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors
Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person
Chuck Norris does not use SCUBA, he holds his breath
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. . .twice
Chuck Norris makes onions cry
Chuck Norris delete the recycle bin. . .without touching the mouse
Bill Gates lives in fear that Chuck Norris's PC will crash
Ghosts are created by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them
Chuck Norris made a snowman out of rain
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless telephone
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he does not turn on the light, he turns off the dark
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. . .his heart lost
Mirrors shatter when Chuck Norris looks at them because even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris
The last number in pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things
Bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's calendar skips April 1st; no one fools Chuck Norris
A cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of intense pain, the cobra died
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
The cause of global warming is false; Chuck Norris got cold and turned up the sun
Chuck Norris got his driver's license at 16...seconds
Chuck Norris rubs two fires together to make a stick
Chuck Norris speaks to deaf people. . .and they listen
When the boogie man goes to bed every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

(But dont worry, when Chuck Norris goes to bed every night, he checks HIS closet for ME.) Dirol

SAS_Random
Veteran
Veteran
SAS_Random's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 months 1 week ago

Some of those are pretty funny. Maybe I'll add them to the messages in the SWAT server.

SAS_Vet_Random

Lt. Col (Retired)

22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

 

 

SAS_Walker
Trooper
Trooper
SAS_Walker's picture
Offline
Last seen: 8 months 3 weeks ago

i like this one:
CN does'nt eat honey, he chews bees.

and here some for SAS:
CN gets Ravenshield and Swat servers for free.
CN makes the Selection Course in 8 minutes.
Once a Trp CN force SAS_CO_Random to leave the clan.
CN scrolls the forum topics with his eyes.

SAS_Walker
22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

SAS_WIZ
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 4 weeks 19 hours ago

Walker are you sure most of them dont apply to me?

Lt_Col WIZ,  VC, MiD (Ret)

SAS_Nick
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 5 months ago

Walker, CN didn't go through the SC, he is the SC Lol

SAS_Nick
22nd SAS Elite Virtual Regiment

SAS_Ranger
Veteran
Veteran
SAS_Ranger's picture
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 11 months ago

IMAGE(http://loredeposits.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/chuck-norris.jpg)

SAS_JB
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 4 months ago

That's ok.. Did you know that when the Boogeyman goes to bed he has to look in his closet for Chuck Norris.....

SAS_Ade
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 6 days ago

ROTFL, love them all and especially rangers image Lol

[SAS]_Vet_Ade Veteran (Vet) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.

Spidey01
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 1 month ago
Re: Chuck Norris jokes are really popular now. Here's a few

While I liked the ghosts part, this one:

Bill Gates lives in fear that Chuck Norris's PC will crash

really makes me happy :-).

SAS_West
Veteran
Veteran
SAS_West's picture
Offline
Last seen: 10 months 2 weeks ago

Chuck Norris? Psh...it's all about Dos Equis Guy now... Biggrin

Here a "few" ... enjoy hehe.

http://www.themostinterestingmanintheworld.net/dos-equis-guy-quotes/

[SAS] VET WEST
SQUADRON SERGEANT MAJOR (RET.)
22nd [SAS] E.V.R. - Who Dares Wins

SAS_Random
Veteran
Veteran
SAS_Random's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 months 1 week ago

I always liked those commercials.

SAS_Vet_Random

Lt. Col (Retired)

22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

 

 

SAS_DUKE
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 5 months ago
Re: Chuck Norris jokes are really popular now. Here's a few

Mirrors shatter when Chuck Norris looks at them because even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris

Love it! Lol

Guess why I made the SC that fast... Dirol

DUKE, Germany

"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"

SAS_Ade
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 6 days ago
Re: Chuck Norris jokes are really popular now. Here's a few

Guess why I made the SC that fast... Dirol

I'm Guessing Duke is Chuck Norris. ROTFL

[SAS]_Vet_Ade Veteran (Vet) 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.

Spidey01
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 1 month ago

Nah, he is Chuck Norris in [SAS] black kit!

SAS_DUKE
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 5 months ago

Just stumbled over this one here...

--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAbKV6lmvDM&feature=endscreen&NR=1

DUKE, Germany

"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"

SAS_Master
Regimental Sergeant Major
Regimental Sergeant Major
SAS_Master's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago

Chuck Norris? Psh...it's all about Dos Equis Guy now... Biggrin

Here a "few" ... enjoy hehe.

http://www.themostinterestingmanintheworld.net/dos-equis-guy-quotes/

"His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created for it."
Love those commercials.

SAS_Master - Regimental Sergeant Major

GCHQ

"He's trusting you to do your job which is to clear that corner! Nothing else!"

MAVEN
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 2 months ago
norris

What a fun thread. Gave me few good laughs Lol

Here's a joke that is actually true:
Chuck Norris doesn't like bieber, he sends him tweets with smileys. ROTFL

For lots of fun jokes and videos check Comedy Central's website.

The Chuck Norris trend got a bit overrated, well if he was that good he would come right here and mash my head of the screen Wink

See nothing happens? Lol

ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL

Chuck Norris is such a softtttttttttttrtwttttttttttttyrtytrtttttttttttttttttttettttttttttteyyttttttttttttttttttt
ttttttttttttteryttttttttttttttttttttysssssssssssssjghjssshdff
jjjjjjjjjjjjfjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhgjjjjjjjjjjjjjghjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
skkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmcnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn]
]
]
]
]
]
]
]
]''''''''''''[[[[[p[][[[
[
[[[[[[[[
[
[[[
[[[[[;;'[[pp[[[[[pp][[[[[[['p.[[[[[[
pppppppp
gdddddghjdddddddd
dddddddddddddddsa000000g00000000000000000000000000000000000322222412222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222

Speed, Precision, Experience, Endurance. General System Tweak Guide

SAS_Yogi
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 1 week 7 min ago

Lol xD

SAS_DUKE
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 5 months ago

The Chuck Norris trend got a bit overrated, well if he was that good he would come right here...

QFT - these guys didn't believe it - don't mess with Chuck Exclaim Dirol

--> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjRK0rNnK-Y&feature=related

"What's the plan?
Track'em, find'em, kill'em!"

SAS_Ezbass
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 10 months ago

Chuck Norris was purty good in his prime and got some of his trainin from the Best as in Bruce Lee, He was a Very good brawler and could take a hit for sure.

MAVEN
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 2 months ago
cn
The Chuck Norris trend got a bit overrated, well if he was that good he would come right here...

QFT - these guys didn't believe it - don't mess with Chuck Exclaim Dirol

--> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjRK0rNnK-Y&feature=related

Now THAT was pretty epic!! Steven's scene was really good Lol Lol Lol

Speed, Precision, Experience, Endurance. General System Tweak Guide

SAS_Random
Veteran
Veteran
SAS_Random's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 months 1 week ago

Sharks have a week dedicated to watching Chuck Norris films.

If you flip China over, it says "Made by Chuck Norris" on the bottom.

Siri is afraid to ask him questions.

Chuck Norris beat Usain Bolt in a foot race while wearing flip-flops.

Chuck Norris bowls...overhand.

Everest is not a mountain, it's a tomb the Egyptians made for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has no hair on his testicles. Hair can't grow on steel.

Chuck Norris won LeMans...driving a Prius.

It takes Chuck Norris just one lick to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

When Chuck Norris "goes Black" he CAN go back.

After Chuck Norris visited the The Virgin Islands, they were known as "The Islands"

Chuck Norris eats soup...using chop sticks.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris fought Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

Chuck Norris was pulled over for speeding. He let the cop go with just a warning.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell stories about Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris has touched MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris made a paper airplane...it broke the sound barrier.

Yoda learned the ways of The Force from Chuck Norris.

SAS_Vet_Random

Lt. Col (Retired)

22nd [SAS] Elite Virtual Regiment

 

 

SAS_Magnum
Veteran
Veteran
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 2 months ago

Normally I'm bored of Chuck Norris jokes, but these one, Random, made me laugh Smile

SAS_Magnum Lance Corporal SAS 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment.