Repeat after me, "I love my job."

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

Bob wrote:

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in
a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started
to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass
started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In
agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up
a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any
hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack
of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an
itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless
to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I
was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water,
the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a
tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days
because my ass was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now
repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!